As Long as I Can See the Light
by Shane's Rick always and foreve
Summary: Ricks on a journey to find Shane.


**A/N: This is rated M, that means for mature. There is sex and violence and adult language**

**Title:As Long As I Can See The Light  
>Author: Shane's Rick always and forever<br>Characters/Pairings: Rick/Shane  
>Rating: nc-17<br>Spoilers: none  
>Warnings: none<br>Word Count: 5,059  
>Summary: Ricks on a journey to find Shane.<br>Beta: by durnt any mistakes left are my own  
>Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except Jimmy and Brody but if I owned Rick and Shane they would be baking us all cookies.<br>Authors note: Reviews would be appreciated, I'm also thinking about writing a sequel if I get enough positive feedback.**

_Rick's Journal_

_Day one: This town is dead just like the last one no sign of life and no sign of Shane. The last time I saw Shane I was half awake not knowing what was going on and the last thing he said to me was I Love you Rick. I still don't know if he meant that in the brotherly sense or something more. When I came too there was no one there as I laid there I could only think if Shane really said what he said and if he really did kiss me._

**Rick was about to write more but the sound of hissing caught his attention. "What the hell?" he said to himself as he saw a road flare.**

**I can't believe someone would do that just leave a road flare out there like that any walker could have heard that. What if it was Shane trying to help me find him I can only hope it was Shane trying to get my attention. Before I left Cynthiana I went to look for Shane at his house but found no sign of life.**

**As Rick stood there looking at the road flare his only thought was to find Shane and tell him how he really felt about him. As night began to fall Rick looked for a place to take shelter as he came upon a house he heard noises, he turned to see the source of the noises out of nowhere someone had yelled "GET DOWN!" as the door opened.**

**"What the hell?" Rick said as he saw a road flare in the air.**

**"Come on if you want to stay alive!" The voice called out.**

**Rick ran as fast as he could to the house. As the door shut behind him he felt the barrel of a gun at the back of his head. "What the hell is…" Rick was about to say. "Shut your mouth I'm the one ask'n the questions around here." The voice said as the gun was pressed hard to the back of his head.**

**"Fine." Rick said as he put his hands up.**

**"Good now are you bit?" The voice asked roughly.**

**"Am I what?" Rick repeated as he tried to look back at whoever was holding the gun.**

**"Daddy?" a small child's voice called.**

**"It's all right baby you go on back to sleep." The voice called back.**

**"I can tell you're just looking out for your child but I can assure you I'm not bit." Rick said as he turned around to see the face of a 19 year old at the end of the gun. "Your only a kid yourself." Rick said as he grabbed the gun from the boy.**

**"Look I'm only doing what I think is right for me and my son." The young man said as he looked right at Rick.**

**"I know I would do the same if I had one." Rick said giving the young man his gun back.**

**"My name is James Murdock but you can call me Jimmy." Jimmy said as he put out his hand to shake Rick's hand.**

**"Rick Grimes." Rick said as he shook Jimmy's hand.**

**"Please make yourself at home." Jimmy said as he barricaded the door again. Rick took off his hat and placed his bag on the floor. "So how long have you been here?" Rick asked as he looked around.**

**"We've been here for about four weeks I think." Jimmy said as he walked to the other side of the room.**

**"I see so how much ammo do you have left?" Rick asked as he grabbed his bag and took out three boxes of ammo.**

**"What's this for?" Jimmy asked as he took the ammo from Rick.**

**"Something to help you but I wouldn't use it so much I think the sound attracts them."Said Rick.**

**"Thanks….. Are you hungry I was making stew it's not much but you're welcome to it." Jimmy said.**

**As they sat and waited for their meal Rick couldn't help himself and began to talk. "That kid that called you Daddy is he really your son you seem awful young."**

**"I was younger and not exactly thinking with my upstairs at the time but I don't regret him." Jimmy said looking over at the small boy who was asleep.**

**"Where is his mom?" Rick asked hoping he didn't cross a line.**

**"Funny you should ask that because I don't even know." Jimmy said as he handed Rick a glass of water.**

**"I see so what's his name?" Rick asked as he took a sip from his glass.**

**"Brody," Jimmy said as he checked the stew.**

**"He looks just like you." Rick said as set down his glass.**

**Jimmy just smiled and handed Rick a bowl of stew and served himself a bowl. As they sat to eat Jimmy's son awoke crying and looking for his daddy. "It's ok little man I got ya Daddy's here." Jimmy said as he picked up Brody and walked back to where Rick was.**

**"Y…You where gone and and I cou…couldn't find you I was really scared da….ddy daddy." Brody cried into Jimmy's shoulder.**

**"Shhhh Brody it's all right I'm not going anywhere without you little man." Jimmy said as he took Brody's face into his hands and kissed the top of his head.**

**As Brody wiped his eyes he saw Rick looking at him. "Daddy whose he?"**

**"This is Rick Grimes." Jimmy said to his son. Brody looked Rick up and down "You a policeman?" Brody asked as he looked at Rick.**

**"Yes I am." Rick said with a smile.**

**"Then you can stop them right you can make them go away?" Brody asked eagerly.**

**"What are you talking about little man?" Jimmy asked.**

**"The bad guys." Brody said as looked back at his Daddy.**

**"I'll do my best to get rid of all those bad guys." Rick said as both Jimmy and Brody looked at him.**

**"Do you promise?" Brody asked as snuggled back into his Daddy's embrace.**

**"I promise." Rick said in all seriousness.**

**"Cross it." Brody said as he crossed his own heart.**

**Rick smiled and crossed his heart which made the little boy smile and hug his Daddy and Rick good night.**

**"You know you didn't have to promise him that." Jimmy whispered as he handed Rick a blanket.**

**"It's all right he just needed someone to give him hope." Rick said as he took off his dress shirt.**

**As Rick was laying his blanket down he heard Brody laughing and running in his direction. "Whoa there partner what do you have there?" Rick said with a smile.**

**Brody handed Rick the photo from his journal he must've dropped it earlier. "Who's the man in the photo with you?" Brody asked as he looked at the photo with Rick.**

**"That….. that's Shane." Rick whispered as he felt his heart ache.**

**"Who is he to you?" Jimmy asked as he sat next to Brody.**

**"He's….. He's my partner." Was all Rick said before he laid down and fell asleep.**

**The next morning Rick woke to the smell of coffee. "Good morning Rick." Jimmy said as he looked up from his book.**

**"I should get going I don't want to inconvenience you any longer then I've already have." Rick said as he put on his dress shirt.**

**"So you can get rid of the bad guy's right?" Brody said as he handed Rick his hat.**

**"Yeah so I can get rid of the bad guys." Rick repeated.**

**"All right but you should take the back roads." Jimmy said as he handed him a map.**

**"Thanks," Rick said as he took the map.**

**"About two weeks ago a small group of people came into town said they were gonna take the back roads to Atlanta your Shane might be there." Jimmy said as closed his book.**

**Jimmy stood up grabbing Brody along the way on his out the door.**

**"Wait, where are you going?" Rick asked in confusion.**

**"We're going to get you a car and after that me and Brody are going to the store." Jimmy said acting like it was nothing.**

**They walked around for hours looking for a car until Rick came upon a 1969 Mach One Mustang. "Oh my god you know what this is?" Rick asked as he looked inside of it for the keys spotting them poking out from the visor.**

**"Well from the looks of it it's just a car." Jimmy said.**

**"Just a car? Just a car no no no this is a 1969 Mach one Mustang." Rick said as he opened the door to the car.**

**"Yea daddy it's a Mach One." Brody said as he got in the back seat.**

**As Rick started up the Mach One Jimmy heard the sounds of walkers approaching them. "Rick turn off the car!" Jimmy yelled as he was reaching for his gun.**

**"Jimmy get in we can move faster by car then on foot!" Rick yelled back.**

**"Fine," Jimmy relented as he threw a road flare to divert the walkers' attention elsewhere.**

**Jimmy and Rick did not talk on the way to the store the only sounds were the cries of Brody in the back seat. "It's all right Brody your daddy is all right." Rick said as he looked at Brody from the rearview mirror.**

**"Yea thank god I'm all right." Jimmy said annoyed.**

**"Did I do something wrong?" Rick ask as he pulled into the store parking lot.**

**"Yea I'd say ya did!" Jimmy sarcastically said as he looked at Rick.**

**"Look whatever I did I'm sorry." Rick said as he parked the Car.**

**"You almost got my son, me, and yourself killed Rick!" Jimmy said looking back at his son.**

**"Your right and I'm sorry about that." Rick said as he looked out his window.**

**As they went into the store after they secured Brody in a cart Jimmy couldn't help himself as he pushed Rick up against the wall kissing him. Rick gently moved Jimmy away as the kiss ended.**

**Jimmy walked off with Brody before Rick could say anything deciding to act as if nothing had happened.**

**They went about their business with no other major events happening. They soon filled the car up as much as they could. The ride back to Jimmy's was mostly silent.**

**"Your friend Shane what was his last name?" Jimmy asked out of nowhere.**

**"Walsh is his name Shane Walsh." Rick said with a little bit of sadness in his voice.**

**"Mr. Grimes are you in love with Shane?" Brody asked which made both men laugh.**

**"As a brother you mean right little man?" Jimmy said as he gave Brody a cookie.**

**"No Daddy I mean as a daddy love's a mommy…. Do you have a son with him?" Brody asked as he nibbled on his cookie.**

**Jimmy looked at Rick and could see the hurt in his eyes. "It's all right Rick you don't have to talk about Shane if you don't want to." Jimmy said as he put his hand on Rick's.**

**"Thanks Jimmy but your son asked me something and I'm not going to be rude." Rick said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.**

**"All right." was all Jimmy said as he looked at the window.**

**"Well Brody I do love Shane as a daddy loves a mommy. And as for the kids part I wish I could have kids with Shane but he I mean I don't think...we don't have any kids." Rick said as he shook his head.**

**As they got to the house Jimmy took Brody inside while Rick got the food out of the car. "Thanks Rick I think we're set for awhile." Jimmy said as he put Brody down for his nap.**

**"You're welcome." said Rick as he headed for the door.**

**"Hey Rick?" Jimmy said as he walked with him outside.**

**"Yea Jimmy?" replied Rick as he looked back at Jimmy.**

**"Stay I mean we have a lot of food and Brody really likes you and I think you would make a great papa to him." Jimmy said all at once.**

**"That's sounds real good but I just can't because for some reason I believe Shane is still alive and that he's waiting for me." Rick said.**

**"How do you know he's still alive Rick!" Jimmy harshly asked.**

**"It's just a feeling I got." Rick said as he opened the car door.**

**Before Rick got into the door he gave Jimmy a once over. "You know you remind me of him not because of your hair or the way you act but how you care about others and not just about yourself I guess that's what I love about him." Rick said with a smile.**

**"You said his name was Shane Walsh right?" Jimmy asked as he looked at the ground.**

**"Yea that's his name why?" Rick asked as he shut the car door.**

**"Remember I mentioned earlier about some people that came into town well there was this one guy that stood out from the rest of them. There was just something about him, I asked him his name." Jimmy said as he looked down at the ground.**

**"What was his name?" Rick asked as he walked up to Jimmy.**

**"He said his name was Shane… Shane Walsh and that he lost someone he really loved." Jimmy said with a sorrow filled voice.**

**Without saying another word Rick got in his car and took off he could feel himself getting ready to break down.**

_Day Two: Shane was in that town just a while ago before I showed up if he only stayed there longer I would have been with him. But I can't stay mad at Jimmy for not telling me he was only looking out for me and his son but like I told him I couldn't stay I have to find Shane._

**The night was cold and harsh as Rick lay in the back seat of the Mach One. The sluggish taping of the rain against the window pane should have been dreary but somehow Rick found comfort in it. As Rick closed his eyes he heard a voice call his name "Rick…. Rick open your eyes darling." When he opened his eyes he couldn't believe who he saw.**

**"Shane is it you?" Rick said in an incredulous tone.**

**"Yea it's really me darling." Shane said as he got into the back seat with Rick.**

**As they laid there Rick couldn't hold in the tears anymore. He buried his face into Shane's chest he felt his arms come around him. "Your following them right Rick keep an eye out for them." Shane told Rick as he held him tighter.**

**"What are you talking about Shane?" Rick asked Shane trying to understand what he meant.**

**"The road flares, that's how you'll find me by following the road flares." Shane said as he pulled away from Rick to stare directly at him.**

**"What road flares Shane what are you talking about?" Rick asked as he tried to pull Shane closer.**

**"Follow the road flares and you'll find me I promise." Shane whispered as he kissed the top of Ricks head.**

**"Shane don't go stay with me…. Shane….Shane!" Rick cried out as he woke up to find he was alone.**

_Day three: That dream I can't seem to let it go…I can't remember what Shane exactly said just something about road flares what road flares. I'm keeping to the back roads just like Jimmy told me to take, as soon as I find Shane we'll go back for Jimmy and his son I can only hope that they'll still be alive._

**While Rick was driving he could only think of what Shane had said in his dream he suddenly saw something in the road giving off a reddish light. As Rick got out of the car he saw four dead walkers two of them had arrows to the back of their heads and the other two looked like their heads were smashed in. "Looks like there are some people out here." Rick said to himself as he walked toward the source of what was giving off the light.**

**To his surprise he saw what is was. "The road flares that's how you'll find me by following the road flares."Rick suddenly remembered.**

**"This is crazy but I'll follow them Shane." Rick said out loud as he got into his car.**

**As he kept driving he saw more road flares and more dead walkers at the end of the last of the road flares Rick came upon a dirt road. Rick turned onto the dirt road taking a deep breath and hoping for the best.**

**"See anything up there Dale?" Andrea yelled upward.**

**"Not anything out of the ordinary…..wait I think I see something" Dale said as he took another look through the binoculars.**

**"What do you see Dale?" Glenn asked as he came to stand by Andrea.**

**"It might be another damn walker." Daryl muttered as he cocked back an arrow into his crossbow.**

**"Well whatever it is someone's has to tell Shane." Dale said looking down.**

**"I'll do it." Glenn said as he started to walk away from the RV.**

**The woods were a good place to let out anything that Shane had in him. The first two days he hit tree after tree but now it was different he could feel his world falling apart at the seams. "I couldn't save you baby." Shane whispered as he held on to the photo of him and Rick.**

**He remembers that day seeing Rick in that hospital bed not knowing if his best friend would ever wake up. "Rick there's something I need to tell you." Shane said as he shut the door to the room.**

**"I know I shouldn't have these feelings for you but I can't hide it anymore Rick I just can't." Shane moved closer to Rick hovering over him when he was near.**

**As he was about to touch Rick's lips to his he heard screaming coming for the hall way he looked at the door and then back at Rick. "Its hell out there Rick."**

**All the lights went out Shane panicked when he couldn't hear the sounds of the machines anymore. "You can't die on me not here!" Shane said as he shook Rick.**

**The screams from the hallway got louder; Shane put his head to Rick chest but heard nothing. "No no no! Rick you can't die I need you baby I need you." Shane whimpered into Rick's chest.**

**Shane looked at Rick with tears in his eyes. "I love you Rick." Shane said as he touched his lips to Ricks for the first and last time.**

**"Shane!" Glenn called out as he ran through the woods. "Shane!" Glenn called out again.**

**"What is it Glenn?" Shane asked gruffly as he wiped his eyes.**

**"Dale said he seen something but he can't tell what it is." Glenn said as he pointed back to the camp.**

**As Rick drove up he saw a couple of cars and an RV with people looking at him with guns ready to shoot if they thought he was a soon to be walker. Rick put the car in park and got out. "That is a fine piece of machinery you have there." Dale said as he climbed down from his RV.**

**"Thanks I just go it the name is Rick Grimes." said Rick holding out his hand.**

**"Dale Horvath." Dale said as he shook Rick's hand.**

**Rick smiled and tried to pull back his hand but Dale wouldn't let it go. "Say there Dale you mind giving me my hand back?" Rick asked.**

**"I would but we just have to make sure you're not bit." Dale said inspecting Rick's arm.**

**"Now that you see I'm not you mind telling me who is in charge?" Rick asked as he pulled his arm back he noticed two men coming out of the woods from the corner of his eyes.**

**Shane and Glenn were walking out of the woods when Shane saw something he couldn't believe. "Rick?" Shane said with wide eyes.**

**Rick couldn't say a thing the only thing he could do was stand there in a state of disbelief and stare back at the two men. "Rick!" Shane said louder as he strode over to the newcomer to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him.**

**As he got closer to the man he thought was Rick he knew that he was real and that he was really there. "Shane!" Rick said aloud as he rushed into Shane's arms.**

**As they stood there holding each other everyone watched and saw how much the two men missed each other. "I thought you were dead?" Shane said as he pulled Rick away so he could see his face.**

**Rick just looked at Shane and smiled the only thing running through Rick's mind was that this moment couldn't be real. "Is this a dream?" Rick asked as he touched Shane's face.**

**Ricks hand felt rough against Shane's cheek but he didn't care all that mattered was Rick was alive and there with him, not in memories or dreams anymore. Not before long Shane and Rick heard someone clear their throat.**

**"Maybe we should go talk in my tent." Shane said as pointed over towards the direction to his tent.**

**"Yeah I think that's a good idea." Rick said with a smile.**

**When they were in the tent Shane once again took Rick into his arms and held him there for some time. "I thought you were dead." Shane said once more into Rick's neck.**

**"I thought so too." Rick said as he put his chin against Shane's head. "I thought so too." Rick repeated again as he lowered his lips to Shane's neck kissing it slowly.**

**Shane let out a soft moan as he felt Rick's lips on his neck he began to pull Ricks buttoned shirt upward along with his t-shirt. "I just need to know something Rick." Shane said as he pulled Rick's face up to get his shirt all the way off. "How'd you find me?" Shane asked looking into Rick's eyes.**

**"I did what you told me to do I followed the road flares." Rick said as he pressed his lips back to Shane's.**

**Shane tensed up as Rick started to take off his Shirt. "What's wrong Shane?" Rick asked stopping what he was doing.**

**"What do you mean you did what I told you to do?" Shane said as he gave Rick a perplexed look.**

**Rick pulled away from Shane knowing if he told him anything more about his dream he would think he was going mad. "Rick what did you mean by that?" Shane asked again.**

**"If I told you…. you would think I'm crazy." Rick said as he looked away for Shane.**

**"There are dead people walking around and you think whatever your going to tell me is gonna make me think you're crazy." Shane said as he hugged Rick.**

**"I had a dream about you the night before last and you told me to follow the road flares." Rick said knowing he sounded crazy even if Shane didn't think so.**

**"What if I told you I had a dream about you and you told me to put road flares out so you could find me." Shane said as he held onto Rick tighter than before.**

**Rick felt his body relax in Shane's arms in that moment he knew that Shane would always be there for him. "Are you all right Rick?" Shane asked as he held him a little distance away.**

**Without another word Rick kissed Shane hard enough to taste blood but neither of them cared at this point. "I want you Shane." was all Rick could get out as Shane started to kiss down his chest.**

**"I want you too Rick." Said Shane as he was staring at Rick's crotch.**

**Rick could feel himself getting hard as Shane undid his pants. "Are you sure you want to do this." Rick asked as he looked down at him.**

**Shane didn't respond instead he slipped Ricks boxers off and proceeded to rub Ricks cock. He wrapped his lips around the tip of Rick moving all the way down slowly. As he started moving his head up and down, he could feel Rick's hands in his hair moving with him. Rick could feel himself getting ready to spill into Shane's mouth, he pulled him off warning him he was about to come.**

**"I want you inside of me Rick." Shane moaned as he turned around and got on all fours presenting himself to Rick.**

**Rick had never thought this would happen he'd fantasized about this but didn't ever think it would happen. He looked around for something to use as lube. "Rick I've waited a fucking long time for this just use your damn spit." Not wanting to argue Rick prepared Shane as best he could. Shane moaned as he felt Rick finally nudging the blunt head of his cock inside him.**

**Rick moved in and out of Shane carefully at first but then began to pick up speed as Shane's moans got louder. Shane suddenly felt the need to see Rick, wanting to feel Rick's arms holding him while they made love. "Stop." Shane said breathlessly.**

**"Am I hurting you?" Rick asked as he was trying to get his breathing under control.**

**"No I just want to see you is all." Shane said as he slowly pushed Rick back enough to lie on his back.**

**When Shane was done adjusting himself he pulled Rick back on top. Shane reached in between his legs and guided Rick back inside. "Damn you're so tight Shane." Rick grunted as he started to move fast again.**

**Shane dragged his nails down Rick's back as his prostate was hit. "Shane I'm about to." Rick moaned out raggedly as he thrusted into Shane one last time.**

**"Oh Rick." Shane moaned loudly as he came in the middle of them.**

**Rick laid there for awhile resting his head on Shane's collarbone, both of them riding out the last of their orgasms. Rick slowly pulled out of Shane mindful of hurting him even in his orgasmic daze. He lay beside Shane pulling him to his side. "Back at the hospital did you kiss me or did I dream that?" Rick asked as he tucked Shane's head under his chin.**

**"I thought you died and that it might be the last time I saw you." Shane said slightly tearing up at the reminder of what he thought of as Rick's death.**

**Rick held Shane tighter and kissed the top of his head. "Hey I gotta know something." Shane said as he played with Rick's hand.**

**"Yeah…" Rick said as he looked at Shane.**

**"Remember junior year I asked you once if you knew who put this in my locker" Shane asked as he brought up his necklace to show him.**

**"Actually I bought you that but I was too nervous to give it to you in person." Rick murmured in embarrassment.**

**"It was you all this time! I thought it was Marry Ann who gave it to me." Shane said.**

**They both laughed as they laid in each other arms. "I love you Rick." Shane said with all seriousness in his voice.**

**"And I love you Shane." Rick said as he pressed his lips to Shane's.**

**As night fell Rick found himself laying on his side watching Shane sleep. "You need your rest Rick." Shane said out of the blue.**

**"I can't sleep all I can think about is Jimmy and his son." Rick said as he turned on his back.**

**"Who's Jimmy?" Shane asked as he turned over to look at Rick.**

**"That boy you met before you came to Atlanta." Rick said as he looked up at nothing in particular.**

**"Oh him how is he?" Shane said knowing who Rick was talking about now.**

**"They are doing fine but I think we need to go and get them I don't think they're gonna be safe there much longer." Rick said hoping Shane would say yes to going back.**

**"Rick if we go back there something might happen I can't risk that for somebody that might not even be there." Shane said as he closed his eyes.**

**"Fine I'll go back and get them myself." Rick said as he got up and put his pants back on.**

**"Rick where are you going it's late and you just got here, you need your rest." Shane tried to reason with Rick as he watched him putting on his clothes.**

**"I'm going back to that town and getting Jimmy and his son." Rick said as he put on his boots.**

**"Why is this guy so important to you Rick?" Shane asked as he sat up.**

**"Because Shane if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here right now." Rick said angrily as he left the tent.**

**Shane followed Rick to his car knowing if he left now he might not see him again. "If I say yes to going back with you tomorrow would you come back to bed please?" Shane begged him as he stood there.**

**"Do you mean it?" Rick asked as he stood by the open car door.**

**"Yes Rick I mean it I'll take you into town myself just please come back to bed." Shane said.**

**Rick shut his car door and walked up to Shane. "Cross it." Rick said as he mimicked what Brody had made him do.**

**Shane sighed and crossed his chest over his heart, without saying anything Rick walked back to the tent. The next morning Shane woke to the sight of Rick already dressed and watching him.**

**"What time is it?"Shane asked as he rubbed his eyes.**

**"Early you ready to go?" Rick asked.**

**"Go? Go where Rick?" Shane asked forgetting the deal he had made the other night.**

**"To go get Jimmy and his son." Rick said as he walked out of the tent.**

**"Well damnit a deal's a deal better follow that bull headed son of bitch before he hurts himself." Shane said to himself with affection and amusement in his voice.**

**I also posted this on Rick/Shane Community that is new and looking for Rick and Shane fans to post **

**.com/**


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